The Red Menace

At my job there is a white dry erase board on the wall in one of the bays. It is usually used to quick draw some layout plans or to remind people to do something. Sometimes the marker gets left out there and we write silly things like "so and so farted"or "so and so is a dingus." We do it just to be silly and have a bit of fun. This new guy, Dennis, shows up. He's a cool kid, but he says odd things sometimes. For example, he likes to be called "The Red Menace" imstead of Dennis the Menace. I usually referre to him as The Red Rocket. He also cannot handle bathroom humor. One of the guys farted next to him and he go so offended. We try to joke around, but go easy on him. Well yesterday someone wrote on the board a silly comment about him. He got us all in trouble over it. I couldn't help but laugh. Paul told me all the board said was "Dennis farted." 

Before that happened some us, including the red menace, were sitting in the break room at lunch. We were talking and joking around with each other and someone brought up deep fried foods. The red menace says "someone told me about deep fried butter. Its on a stick." I jokingly said "Have you ever had double deep fried butter on a stick? Its good." He responds with "no. I respect my body." Still just playing around I asked "Are you saying I don't respect my body?" He says,"No. I am just saying that I do not want diabetes." He was so serious. I thought, let me try once more and maybe he'll see I'm joking. I was wrong. I asked him, "Are you saying I have diabetes?" "No. I'm not saying that." He snapped back. This kid didn't get it. So I just laughed and said "oh, okay." A few seconds go by and he says "You know, Candace, you jump to conclusions." I hate when people say that to me. Only 1 other person has said that to me in the past and he is an ass. Anyway, I said "Okay. Explain." Dennis replied with "You said that I thought you have diabetes." Then I said, "No. I just asked if thats what you were saying." The guys kinda giggled. It was quiet for maybe 30 seconds and dennis blurts out "I guess I don't have the best debate skills!" I said "If that's what you think." "I didn't say that I am absolutely terrible or the worst!" Was his response. He then got up and left. I imagine that is when he saw the board because a few minutes later I walked out and there were remains of something written on the board. 

Don't be a whinner. Learn to joke around. Dont dish it if you cant take it. 

Love, A Schizophrenic