I had so many plans this summer. I was going to get a used car and celebrate by going to New Orleans. I was going to do things and hang out with friends. Those things will stay just dreams though. Do try and make time for the people you love! It is free to hang out with someone.
Love, A Schizophrenic
Sunday, May 27, 2018
Sunday, May 20, 2018
The rest
Picking up where I left off the other day. So everyone knows, Starja has found some family to go to for now. She is safe.
Basically what had happened was this man, Kennedy, used her to move drugs. She never sold them, she just placed them. He had many houses throughout Texas that he cycled between for hide outs. He also started using her for sex and other things. Through some long drawn out series of events, she got tired of it. The issue is that you can't just quit stuff like that. Her and I had figured that out years ago when we got into some things. She had secretely been trying to leave. When Kennedy found out things got extremely dangerous. She left without saying a word to anyone. She said that she called in an anon. tip after leaving TX. That is when she drove to me. She stayed for a bit and has left. With her permission I blogged about the events and only gave info she approved of. Some things have been changed for safety reasons. Starja is now safe and happy.
Be careful what you get into and support your friends.
Love, A Schizophrenic
Basically what had happened was this man, Kennedy, used her to move drugs. She never sold them, she just placed them. He had many houses throughout Texas that he cycled between for hide outs. He also started using her for sex and other things. Through some long drawn out series of events, she got tired of it. The issue is that you can't just quit stuff like that. Her and I had figured that out years ago when we got into some things. She had secretely been trying to leave. When Kennedy found out things got extremely dangerous. She left without saying a word to anyone. She said that she called in an anon. tip after leaving TX. That is when she drove to me. She stayed for a bit and has left. With her permission I blogged about the events and only gave info she approved of. Some things have been changed for safety reasons. Starja is now safe and happy.
Be careful what you get into and support your friends.
Love, A Schizophrenic
Thursday, May 17, 2018
Where did I leave off?
Before I finish telling the story, yes it is 100% true. Now where did I leave off last night?
"One morning a couple weeks later, I went out for my morning jog/sprint combo as usual. There was a note attached to a box by my door when I returned." Starja continued.
"It was not stamped and did not have a return address. I took it inside, sat it on the counter, listened for ticking, and starred at it. I started thinking about all that Kennedy had said to me. 30 minutes went by and I could not take it anymore. I opened the box."
So far, I was shocked by the situation. I'd heard of these things happening before, but I was surprised that Starja took part in them.
"It was a letter and a small bag of cocaine. The letter said..."
"What? You got involved with a drug dealer?" I asked
"Yes....and no. The letter said to take this to the South St Market."
South St. Market is a place we'd go window shopping. It was a strip mall near downtown that had all of these fancy things we could only dream of ever being able to afford.
"It said "327b. By the trash." So that is where I took it. I pass by there every day on my way to work. I never would have guessed some rich bastard was using drugs."
Starja began to get this guilty look. Like she knew she did something wrong, but also like she had a good reason.
"Star....we said we wouldn't mess with that shit anymore. What..."
"I know, but please listen to me." She was almost pleading.
"I am. It is just a bit to take in. Go on though."
"I dropped it exactly where it said. 15 minutes later, I got a call. It was Kennedy and all he said was 'You're in." Starja sat and starred for a moment. "I got home and found a small envelope where I found the box. It contained an address too. It told me to show up at 9 pm. It was this big house in the middle of no where out by Chambers Lane. When I got there I saw Kennedy. He took me and several others in these SUVs way back on his property to a barn type deal. Inside was insane. MJ plants everywhere with all kinds of lights and pipes. There were maps of the counties and weapons. So many guns and knives."
For the 1st time since moving here, I became afraid. What had Star done and was someone after her? This long story will continue.
It is important to be there for your friends, y'all. Life as a schizophrenic is tough, but other peoe face difficulties too. Be there for them.
Love, A Schizophrenic
"One morning a couple weeks later, I went out for my morning jog/sprint combo as usual. There was a note attached to a box by my door when I returned." Starja continued.
"It was not stamped and did not have a return address. I took it inside, sat it on the counter, listened for ticking, and starred at it. I started thinking about all that Kennedy had said to me. 30 minutes went by and I could not take it anymore. I opened the box."
So far, I was shocked by the situation. I'd heard of these things happening before, but I was surprised that Starja took part in them.
"It was a letter and a small bag of cocaine. The letter said..."
"What? You got involved with a drug dealer?" I asked
"Yes....and no. The letter said to take this to the South St Market."
South St. Market is a place we'd go window shopping. It was a strip mall near downtown that had all of these fancy things we could only dream of ever being able to afford.
"It said "327b. By the trash." So that is where I took it. I pass by there every day on my way to work. I never would have guessed some rich bastard was using drugs."
Starja began to get this guilty look. Like she knew she did something wrong, but also like she had a good reason.
"Star....we said we wouldn't mess with that shit anymore. What..."
"I know, but please listen to me." She was almost pleading.
"I am. It is just a bit to take in. Go on though."
"I dropped it exactly where it said. 15 minutes later, I got a call. It was Kennedy and all he said was 'You're in." Starja sat and starred for a moment. "I got home and found a small envelope where I found the box. It contained an address too. It told me to show up at 9 pm. It was this big house in the middle of no where out by Chambers Lane. When I got there I saw Kennedy. He took me and several others in these SUVs way back on his property to a barn type deal. Inside was insane. MJ plants everywhere with all kinds of lights and pipes. There were maps of the counties and weapons. So many guns and knives."
For the 1st time since moving here, I became afraid. What had Star done and was someone after her? This long story will continue.
It is important to be there for your friends, y'all. Life as a schizophrenic is tough, but other peoe face difficulties too. Be there for them.
Love, A Schizophrenic
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
An old friend called today. She said that she needed some help and would pick me up in 15 minutes. Confused as to why she was anywhere near where I live now, I text her the address so she could gps. I got in her car 13 minutes later. I was happy to see her, but what help did she need and why did she not tell me she was in my state and when did she get a new car?
As soon as she opened her mouth all of my questions began to be answered. Starja began with "I met this guy." I thought I knew where this was going, but the more she spoke the stranger it got. "His name is Kennedy. We met at a bar and he said he could help me make money." I asked her if that is how she got the new car. She just sat in silence for a second before driving to the main road. "What I am about to tell you is...complicated." Starja was obviously shaken up. I noticed the bags under her eyes and all the empty water bottles in her back seat. Had she driven all night and day to get here? Why was she so afraid?
"Where is this guy?" I asked her.
"Last I saw, in Texas still. He'll figure it out soon..enough." She said.
"Figure what out?" I stared at her.
"That I'm gone....for good this time." Starja seemed to be getting frustrated. "I need coffee."
I pointed her to a quiet coffee shop near the old mill. When we arrived she finished telling me everything.
"He told me that I can make good money working with him. I get so tired, ya know? I fix people's cell phones for a living. I always thought I'd do more with my degree." She stopped to sip her coffee. I squuezed the tea from my hot tea bag as I contemplated where this conversation could be going.
"He made me pass a test first. Not like a job interview or anything like that. I has never done work like this before." She continued after a long pause.
"He made me run full sprint on a treadmill."
"You prolly kicked but at that, right?" Starja and I had played sports together since middle school. She could outrun anyone in speed and in distance.
"I did. He also made me do pull ups and push ups. Military shit. What they hell though, ya know? I beats the same old stuff every day." Starja seemed a bit more calm.
"He had me fire guns at all kinds of targets. He then said that he'd be in touch."
All of this sounded like some kinda MIB thing. We then went to Mama's Burgers and got actual food right across the street.
"Weeks went by before I heard anything. I came home from work to find him on my doorstep. He said he had a mission for me. That it was my only chance. If I pass than I'd be in. He didn't say anything when I asked him what'd happen if I failed."
This has been a long and extremely unusual day for me. I will finish this story soon. Just make sure you're always there for your friends.
Love, A Schizophrenic
As soon as she opened her mouth all of my questions began to be answered. Starja began with "I met this guy." I thought I knew where this was going, but the more she spoke the stranger it got. "His name is Kennedy. We met at a bar and he said he could help me make money." I asked her if that is how she got the new car. She just sat in silence for a second before driving to the main road. "What I am about to tell you is...complicated." Starja was obviously shaken up. I noticed the bags under her eyes and all the empty water bottles in her back seat. Had she driven all night and day to get here? Why was she so afraid?
"Where is this guy?" I asked her.
"Last I saw, in Texas still. He'll figure it out soon..enough." She said.
"Figure what out?" I stared at her.
"That I'm gone....for good this time." Starja seemed to be getting frustrated. "I need coffee."
I pointed her to a quiet coffee shop near the old mill. When we arrived she finished telling me everything.
"He told me that I can make good money working with him. I get so tired, ya know? I fix people's cell phones for a living. I always thought I'd do more with my degree." She stopped to sip her coffee. I squuezed the tea from my hot tea bag as I contemplated where this conversation could be going.
"He made me pass a test first. Not like a job interview or anything like that. I has never done work like this before." She continued after a long pause.
"He made me run full sprint on a treadmill."
"You prolly kicked but at that, right?" Starja and I had played sports together since middle school. She could outrun anyone in speed and in distance.
"I did. He also made me do pull ups and push ups. Military shit. What they hell though, ya know? I beats the same old stuff every day." Starja seemed a bit more calm.
"He had me fire guns at all kinds of targets. He then said that he'd be in touch."
All of this sounded like some kinda MIB thing. We then went to Mama's Burgers and got actual food right across the street.
"Weeks went by before I heard anything. I came home from work to find him on my doorstep. He said he had a mission for me. That it was my only chance. If I pass than I'd be in. He didn't say anything when I asked him what'd happen if I failed."
This has been a long and extremely unusual day for me. I will finish this story soon. Just make sure you're always there for your friends.
Love, A Schizophrenic
Sunday, May 13, 2018
The girl under the stairs
So I moved into a new town house this summer....it isn't new, but it is to me. A friend of mine used to live here. I only need it until classes start up in the fall.
I got this job where I work all day and have evenings and weekends off. I have some work to do, but am mostly just chilling. All my friends are out with their friends, but me and the play station are on good terms.
I was playing when I saw her fingers curl out of the vent. At 1st I thought it was dust. The place is dimly light to save power and is hard to see in the evenings.
The next day, I made my way down the stairs. It sounded like someone hitting the stairs under me. I could feel them moving up into my feet and felt the vibrations. I thought I was stomping. The sounds kept coming from the stairs even when no one was using them.
I got back from work and began my Friday night relaxation. I put in a movie and that is when I saw her. Reddish brown straight hair that goes past her shoulders. A blue bow perfectly centered in her hair that curtains her pale face. Her eyes white and glazed over the blue/green colors. Her pale lips tightly shut hiding her teeth. The nails are caked with dirt as they reach around the grates of the vent under the stairs.
She disappears and reappears. No words. Just her presence.
I think this hallucination appeared because I knew mothers day was coming. She looks like my mom when she was a child. But why under the stairs? I've been watching too much harry potter I guess.
Anyway, never let your hallucinations keep you from enjoying life if you can help it.
Love, A Schizophrenic
I got this job where I work all day and have evenings and weekends off. I have some work to do, but am mostly just chilling. All my friends are out with their friends, but me and the play station are on good terms.
I was playing when I saw her fingers curl out of the vent. At 1st I thought it was dust. The place is dimly light to save power and is hard to see in the evenings.
The next day, I made my way down the stairs. It sounded like someone hitting the stairs under me. I could feel them moving up into my feet and felt the vibrations. I thought I was stomping. The sounds kept coming from the stairs even when no one was using them.
I got back from work and began my Friday night relaxation. I put in a movie and that is when I saw her. Reddish brown straight hair that goes past her shoulders. A blue bow perfectly centered in her hair that curtains her pale face. Her eyes white and glazed over the blue/green colors. Her pale lips tightly shut hiding her teeth. The nails are caked with dirt as they reach around the grates of the vent under the stairs.
She disappears and reappears. No words. Just her presence.
I think this hallucination appeared because I knew mothers day was coming. She looks like my mom when she was a child. But why under the stairs? I've been watching too much harry potter I guess.
Anyway, never let your hallucinations keep you from enjoying life if you can help it.
Love, A Schizophrenic
Summer and catching up
I realize it has been forever since I've been on here. Lots of things, both good and bad, habe happened. I went to the Philippines last summer. I went on a few more tours with sym band since then. I've had break downs and have been self harming. I got into wind ensemble. I have done several observation hours and and 1 semester away from graduating. Grounds let me go and I worked for the custodians. They didn't habe room for me over the summer and am now working moving crew.
I've had new hallucinations and had some go away. The catatonia isnt too bad, but my memory has gotten so much worse. Stories to come!
Love, A Schizophrenic
I've had new hallucinations and had some go away. The catatonia isnt too bad, but my memory has gotten so much worse. Stories to come!
Love, A Schizophrenic
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