Nothing. It is still a frightening topic to share about with others. What did get to me is all the ignorance surrounding mental illnesses and all the "friends" I lost once they found out. People have tried to put me through exorcisms before. My own step mother asked me several times if I thought I was demon possessed. People think I am suffering from DID or Bipolar disorder. They make jokes about it. Why is is that a cancer joke is something you shouldn't tell, but mental illness jokes are okay? People have accused me of faking before just for attention. No. Why would I do that? I know I can be hard to be around because of social issues coming from schizophrenia, but why would I pretend to be crazy and risk losing even more friends? Unfortunately, there are people that do that. I am not one of them.
Through all of my chatter, what I am trying to say is people's ignorance and rudeness led me to it. I am not ashamed. I am still afraid to share about it at times with people, but not ashamed. Why should I be? I did not choose this and I don't know why it happened to me. No one is ashamed of talking about their diabetes or their heart disease. Why should I be ashamed of a disease in my brain? I shouldn't, and I won't be. If anyone reading this also has a mental disorder, don't be ashamed of it. The right people will cross your path. Don't use it as an excuse, but also be real with yourself and others. If they don't like you because you have an anxiety disorder, you have add, are bipolar, have schizoaffective disorder, or anything they will leave and they were never worth your time to begin with. You are still the same person you were before you told them or they found out. Don't listen to these people that try to shame you for an illness. Keep working hard and trying to get better and don't be ashamed.
Love, a schizophrenic.
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