Growing up, I thought I was like everyone else except for the fact that everyone treated me different. I loved to play outside, I loved chocolate ice cream, and I loved to explore...people's dresser drawers and closets. I thought they were interesting, okay? Okay.
I started having auditory hallucinations when I was very young. The first one I remember told me to tip a hot pot of water off the stove. I reached for it and mama smacked my hand away. I'd always heard people talking about "the little voice in your head" so I thought they were talking about, at that time, the 4 or 5 in mine. It wasn't until I was 17 that I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Let's face it, who want to tell the parents of an 8 year old that their child has schizophrenia...or any other brain disorder for that matter? Doctors like to wait. They like to wait until there is no other choice of diagnosis, after all the test have been given, and all the blood is drawn to finally give in to the parent's biggest fear. Not just schizophrenia, but the things that come along with it. The sleepless nights, the cognitive challenges, fear of "who will take care of my baby after I'm gone, or after all the grey matter is eaten from their brain?" fears of failure and hobo-ism, fear of having to explain to people at church why I can't sit still, fear of teachers yelling when they can't "deal" with me, fear of having to explain to family why I can't be in the military, and most of all is the fear of ignorant people.
For those of you who don't know, schizophrenia is a brain disorder. It usually causes some sort of hallucinations (mine are auditory, visual, and tactile), sometimes can cause delusions and paranoia, depression, anxiety, forgetfulness, disorganized thought patterns and behavior (this may appear to be add or adhd if not diagnosed, or come across as a very twisted logic), catatonic states, and many other symptoms. Everyone's presents differently because everyone is different. Some researchers found that certain things are different in schizophrenic people's DNA and the way our brain's interpret things.
Many people fail to understand or bother to research before making cruel comments or jokes. Things like that need to stop because they come from ignorance. I'm just here to educate and tell some interesting stories. So, whether you are here for the health, the drama, or to read a good and true scary story...
Love, A Schizophrenic
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