People see on television or in movies the dangerous schizophrenic running around killing people or sitting in a corner, rocking, and speaking rhymes to themselves. So, they think that is all schizophrenia is. I try to tell my stories on here as close to how I remember everything taking place. I don't think any of them have been happy or fun in anyway so I wanted to write something a little bit different today. I watched a video on youtube by Rachel Star and she kind of inspired this post. So, if you read it rachel, thanks. :)
As human beings inhabiting this fine planet, we all face struggles that we must work through and sometimes get through alone. Yes, I am viewed as weaker at times because of my disorder. I do need extra help every now and then with lots of support. When stressful times happen, I may need someone to help keep an eye on me just in case I get worse. Also, I know how to work through the bad news. I know that I am living with schizophrenia. That is tough. It encourages me to keep fighting and moving on even when others would be ready to throw up the white flag and surrender. I know not to give up when everything looks black. I know that I am tough enough to keep pushing through.
I know several other people who are also schizophrenic. Some of them I met while I was in a psych ward somewhere and a couple I have met just out and about. I am able to use my schizophrenia as a way to relate with them and encourage them when they are struggling and they do the same when I struggle. It has weeded out the true friends from the back stabbers and my support system is even stronger now. I still have social struggles, but I can relate when someone says they are having a hard time with a mental disorder. I may not have that certain disorder and I may not know 100% what they are going through because I am not them, but I can relate more than most people.
God loves me and I love him. I have an even more powerful testimony now because of my schizophrenia. I have, thanks to God, been able to witness to others because of it. Not just mentally ill either. God heals all wounds and if people know He helps me then they know He can help them. He may not choose to heal me here on Earth, but one day I know I won't be schizophrenic anymore. I know that when a mentally ill persons mentions any religion, especially Christianity it seems, no one takes them seriously because it is "just the psychosis speaking." I agree with that at times. I've met people who say things like, "God wants me to jump of this rock." or they claim even to be the Christ. That is psychosis. Someone saying they love God because he watches out for us is not psychosis. Anyway, I got off topic.
Schizophrenia isn't all rainbows and butterflies, but it isn't always dark clouds and confusing and frightening monsters. Thanks for reading.
Love, a schizophrenic.
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