Called out

I totally got called out at work earlier. Let me explain what happened.
I get there and its kinda slow at 1st. People start pouring in and the drive through is out to the road about 30 minutes into my shift. We were down 1 person. One girl is saving lives getting register, frying things, doing dishes, and helping me on dine in orders. Other than her help every so often, I am the only one of dine in. Drive through has 1 person on register and 2 on line. I'm making all these orders myself. Let me remind you that I have only been working there for a month so I am not the fastest and still don't know exactly everything. The orders coming in are not small orders at all. Its like 12 items+ per name. At 1 point I had 2 12 packs and an extra 10 tacos. Behind that were several other orders. I had to do a few remakes because I kinda suck, but I notice this customer standing watching me make all of these orders. Drive through had time to pick up one of my orders before they started getting slammed again. This made the customer a little upset because that order was someone who had ordered after them. Naturally, they began to ask if their order had been forgotten. They then began to rush me and got upset and yelled "Its for here! Its for here!" when I went to put the order into a bag. I said "Because a bag makes such a difference." I said it so that I would be heard.
Once that order got out many more piled in. It did not stop. The line was out to the road when I left and everyone was still making ridiculous orders. I got frustrated quite a few times. At one point I just loudly stated "God motherf*&@ing D!@#*$!" The guy next to me was like "You shouldn't say that." He was joking, but her was right. That conversation lead into a conversation about Christianity. He knows that I am a Christian. This was kinda a big deal to me. He was right. I am a Christian. Why do I allow my self to have such a filthy mouth? It doesn't glorify God and it doesn't make me seem like a kind person when every other word is a curse word. He didn't mean to call me out and he honestly didn't even care. I did though. I have got to watch my mouth.
I know that God forgives and that he always loves us. It doesn't mean that I can just spew whatever words I want out of my mouth. Its about as appealing as spewing vomit. That's gross. Its disgusting and has no place coming out of my mouth.
This may sound like it is specifically for Christians, but it is kinda for everyone in more than 1 way. It is the sick who need a doctor and it is important to stand by what you believe. If you believe that certain words should be said then stand by that. Don't expect the world to stand by it and don't expect the world to change for you, but stand by your belief. Then, live it.
Forgive yourselves and take care of yourselves.
Love, A Schizophrenic

Liberalism and Christian Universities

I never thought this would be an issue I would face or even ever hear about. That shows how dumb I am I guess.

Over the past several years, my thoughts and beliefs have been intentionally challenged by friends, fellow students, and professors at Lee University. All challenged with the same basic idea. Research and think. Know why you believe what you believe and understand/ expect the same from others. 

Lee is a Church of God institution which means it is a private christian university. On one side there are people who put me down because they think that I am "rich" and "an intellectual" capable of having a degree handed to me. They don't think about all the jobs I worked to pay my way and all the classes I failed in order to achieve my degree. Then there is another side. This side says 1 of 2 things. Either I'm a sweet and innocent (naive) little christian girl OR I am the biggest hypocrite to walk the face of the planet. I strive to be neither, honestly. These things I expected.

What I did not expect is the reactions I receive from many Christians. Some think its a great thing that I went to "That there Church of God school." Some think that the education has warped me into some liberal anti christ. Some say because I speak about understanding opposing views and supporting others in need that I am for the evil ways of this world.

I say understand the drug addict. They hear "Drugs are good." 

I say listen to the female seeking abortion. They hear "I support murder especially of babies."

I say accept the homosexual. They hear "Ignore and glorify all sin whilst having a drunken orgy."

I say God wants us to help our neighbors in need. They hear "Let all undocumented people in so that they can murder and spread their sin plants while taking our jobs."

I say fight against rape and toxic masculinity. They hear "all men are toxic and I am a feminazi."

Really the list goes on and on.

I just went through and found some scriptures. Not to fight anyone, but to support some things. There are christians out there that say I have become luke warm and am afraid to call sin what it is. Well, here ya go. I'm calling some hypocrites out on their sins....just like they asked. This is for those who believe your hatred is okay. I call this "being my brothers keeper."

Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

Matthew 25:35-40" For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothes me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." Then the righteous will answer him "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?" The King will reply "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters or mine, you did for me."

I realize that these scriptures may mean little to those of you who are not believers. In that case, all I can ask is that you try to understand others. 

I am not asking for anyone to change opinions. I am asking that you listen to understand not to respond. 

Be kind to each other as Christ would.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

Love, A Schizophrenic

Demons and schizophrenia

I was going to finish writing about the awkward friend drama from this past semester, but something just happened that I want to address.
First , Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I have accepted Jesus into my heart. Second, I was diagnosed at the age of 17 with disorganized schizophrenia.
So here is what just happened:
I went to a church with my friend, Hannah. The church seemed great the 1st time I went last wednesday. They were all kind, welcoming, and obviously wanted people to be there. I told Hannah that I would love to go back.
Today, I went with her and her husband and another 1 of our friends. The worship was great. I tend to be a more quiet worshipper so while everyone else was dancing or raising hands while standing at the alter, I remained standing in front of my seat praising God. It was a longer worship service because The Holy Spirit showed up and began to move on people through out the service. Then, as things calmed a bit, one of the pastors began to speak. She lead through a prayer and into more worship for a few more minutes.
After the worship she began speaking about the promises and gifts from God. She started talking about generational curses being a foot hold for satan and his demons. So far, it all makes since. If a person has a weakness of drug addiction than they will probably be more tempted to use drugs when something happens. Then, she mentions mental illness. She said "depression and schizophrenia." Then began talking of demons causing those things.
I went to her after the service and asked to clarify what she meant. She was kind and not preachy. To clarify she did state that I'm still welcome at the church and she won't judge. This blog post is NOT to rip on her or that church. Through a rather 1 sided discussion, she basically stated that schizophrenia and mental disorders are demons and that medication destroys people. She gave personal experiences as proof for her opinion saying that she had been delivered from "a spirit of depression." She even talked about joy as if it were mere happiness. Joy is from God and is eternal because it is a characteristic of God. I can be sad and still have Joy. Happiness and sadness die on this earth. Joy is in God and therefore is eternal. It is not related to gray matter, serotonin or dopamine.
I left and walk home. As I was in the parking lot, Hannah caught up to me. Hannah seems to think I am being "demon oppressed." I told her I'm not mad at her. I just don't want to go to a church where people think I'm covered in demons.
I cannot believe that it is almost 2019 and there are still people out there that think mental illnesses are caused by demons. Mental disorder are just that. We don't tell the person with cancer or chrone's disease that they have demons so why would we say that to a persons whose brain (the brain is an organ) is simply working differently?
This message IS NOT TO THE CHURCH. This is for those of you that have been told the same thing and for those who think all Christians are so ignorant. I am here to tell you, yes demons exist but they aren't always the cause of these things. I'm.also writing this to tell you that not every Christian is going to tell you that you have demons. If you can pray and confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior you are not demons possessed and probably not even oppressed. Christians and non believers out there with mental disorders, keep praying. God may heal you on Earth, but he may heal you after you leave it too. Please don't let someones ignorance push you away from God. Hold your head high and keep fighting your battle.
If you are someone who agrees with that pastor's opinion, please educate yourself before you start trying to exercise demons out of people. Also, don't be confused in none come out. Its probably just someone with a mental DISORDER whose brain WORKS DIFFERENTLY. Some medication may help and other won't, but keep praying.
Love, A God worshipping, Prayer speaking, Jesus loving, JOYFUL, medicated, Schizophrenic.