Hidden disabilities

I was walking down the hall on my way to a practice room when I noticed a friend looking unusually sad. I stopped to ask if she was alright. "Yea, I'm just struggling right now. I can't concentrate on school because of some problems at work." I smiled and said, "Well, if you need to talk I am here." My friend then hugged me around my neck and began to cry. When I say cry, I mean she was crying like a sleepy, hungry baby who just witnessed a dozen puppies get ran over twice by scary clowns on loud motorcycles. I walked her to a quieter place and she began to tell me everything. I am the type of person that when I notice someone having a similar problem to something I have faced before, I like to tell them about it to encourage them. She was telling me about how depressed she had become and it seemed as if no one understood. That is when I told her about my schizophrenia and the problems I face with it, including depression. She stopped me and said, "You don't look schizophrenic."

That, believe it or not, is one I hear quite often. I'm not exactly sure what a schizophrenic looks like. As far as I know I look just like everyone else. I just smiled and said, "You don't want to see me when I do look schizophrenic." She just laughed. At least I could make her smile.

It just makes me wonder why people only seem to care about certain disabilities. People care about people missing limbs, people with some sort of paralysis, someone with skin disorders, or people who are considered blind. Most of these people we can tell somehow have a disability. I think that people only seem to really care about disabilities that they can see.That's why there isn't as much help for people with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, major depressive disorder, DID, or what ever. People try to keep those ones secrets when I sometimes think those are the ones that need the most help. I can't really name 1 aspect of my life that schizophrenia hasn't screwed me over in. I am doing waaaay better compared to last year. I am able to function and I can brush my own teeth, but I know schizophrenia can try to take over my mind again any time is pretty well pleases and there is really nothing that I can do about it. Where is my help though? Where is my support? No where. People are afraid of me. People are ashamed of me. People often think I am faking it because they don't see me when I'm mindlessly crying and talking to God knows what in a corner with my blood splattered on the wall because for some reason I thought it made sense to stab myself with a key over and over. We can't ignore hidden disabilities nor the people with them. They are responsible for so many lives each year. Shaming someone for having a mental illness kinda also puts their blood on your hands when they don't go for help. Don't be ashamed. Don't be afraid. Help someone by speaking up. Your voice may be the only kind one they hear and may actually make a difference. 

                                                                  Love, a schizophrenic