What is everyday life like with schizophrenia?

People ask me sometimes about how my life is different then someone who doesn't have schizophrenia. To answer honestly, it changes everyday. It also depends on who you are asking. Some days are good and there really isn't much a difference, but other days it is a whole different world. I have a routine that I try to follow to make sure I am functional.

Step one: After I wake up I get up. Some days I don't even get this far.

Step two: I eat. I love cereal but wouldn't complain if I had eggs, liver mush, and toast with a glass of milk or oj. 

Step three: I take my medication. I have to do this after I eat otherwise I will throw up because of the medicine. If I can make it this far on my own today will be a good day.

Step four: I get dressed. If I can find the motivation to do that then I feel pretty good. Hopefully the good day feeling stays all day. It doesn't always.

5: I have to get moving. If I let my mind idle, I will lose it. My mind has to be moving as does my body. That is 1 reason why I like playing rugby and my instruments. Both require me to think and both require me to move and exorcise. If I can do this, it is a miracle. This one tells me wether or not traveling or what ever is a good idea. I don't travel when I recognize myself showing heavy symptoms. It could be dangerous and frightening for me and everyone around me.

6: Its probs medicine time by now which means it is also lunch time. If I have made it this far without a hallucination or any other problems I start to get worried because I know it is bound to happen soon. It is like I am waiting on someone to arrive. "hmmm. Where are they?" Most of the time I freak out at least once or twice by now. If not out loud then secretly. That is what the therapy is for. It helps me act normal when freaking out on the inside so I don't frighten anyone on the outside. 

7: I go about my day with chores or errands. I hang out with friends and freak out a couple more times. I like to relax a bit in the evening with a game or a cartoon.

8: drug time once more, but that means DINNER! YAY! Then a shower :(

9: Showers mean it is almost night time and I hate night time. Everything slows down except for me. My mind is still running at 500 mph and I want to do the same. It gets lonely. It gets depressing because I start thinking about things like the future and certain classes in school. Mainly the future though. Let's face, schizophrenia doesn't promise a very bright future...not even a dimly lit one.

This is just my normal weekend day. The week days are a harder to go through because of work and classes soon. I am doing well being able to take on work and school. What happens on my bad days though? It depends. On what, I don't know. Not every bad day is the same. Somedays, like I mentioned earlier, I can't get out of bed. If I do,I try to kill myself either from depression or hallucinations telling me to, I cry and scream out of fear because the logic part of my brain left sometime during the night and nothing makes sense anymore, or sometimes I track down bad guys or my neighbors cat because they have the fire stone that opens the portal on mars where Obama is planning to destroy the earth while playing checkers with Buddha. Sometimes all of these happen. 

It is hard to explain the average day because there is no average. If you know someone with a disorder like this, please be patient and kind. They are just as confused by it as you are. Don't be condescending and don't try to make the mean things you say sound nice. They'll know. 

                                                                     Love, a schizophrenic