How I handle myself in public?

Wow. Some one had the nerve to ask me how I handle myself in public! What is that even supposed to mean? Maybe they're right.
Basically, I go to therapy so I can conceal what is going on in my head and not freak the rest of the world out. They want me to calm down so they can go about their business. As long as I am not bothering them, who cares about what goes on inside me head? Right? I take medication so I freak out less yet every time I have a bit of a melt down, it is back to the ER I go. Back out of people's way. I have to learn to "deal with it" so that everyone can ignore it. No one wants to admit it is there, but it is! They try to hide us from society so that people with think that we have everything under control and that EVERYONE IS FINE AND DANDY WHEN THEY AREN'T! Doctors don't care if we get better. They just want our money. Family members want to look humble yet they yell at us everytime we have even the slightest issue. Next time I won't "handle myself in public." I don't want to be forced to sit quietly while hallucinations tear me to shreds. I want to run away from them. I want to fight them. While you are sitting in your chair chatting away with your friends, smiling, drinking, and having the best time of your life I am forced to sit there and pretend to be okay. I have to pretend I am okay for your comfort when I am seeing monsters and demons wreaking havoc everywhere. They tell me to cut or they will bite. Have you ever been bitten before by them? Do you know what a tactile hallucination is? I have and I do. I have to let them bite me. I have to watch them and see the blood. I have to make sure I don't even squarm from the pain. I have to sit and smile for your comfort. So, how do I handle myself in public? I don't know. Maybe that is why I end up in so many wards.
                                                                   Love, a schizophrenic