Nothings really changed.
My friends are separating again. I'm still in school. I think my neighbor is cheating on her bf. I spill the tea on that later. I just figured I should post on here since it's been a minute.
Love,
A Schizophrenic
Monday, October 10, 2022
Sunday, July 26, 2020
Sex trafficking rings
Man has it been a hot minute since I've been on here!
Nothing much has changed since last I wrote. Same crap a different day really. I'm getting a little worried due to some issues I'm am starting to become more aware of the past few days. I'll make it as quick a read as I can, but it needs to be known that certain cities in the USA are full of perverts and creepers.
It was about 9pm thursday night when I was making my way home from work. I take one of the main streets in town to get home and theres typically a good amount of traffic all day and all night on this main street. It is 2 lanes in each direction with stop lights every block. This trash heap of a car pulls up next to me and uses aaaaall 2 of his teeth to whistle at me and yell "aye! Baby girl!" he repeats this action for a few blocks before slowing down and merging behind me. Spare parts man continues to follow me. Some how this meth head is able to run 4 red lights with me past 2 cops and neither of us get pulled. I drive all over town to lose this guy before finally returning home. I was kinda sketched out.
TODAAAAAY! I am at the gas station up the road getting a drink and a snack when hill billy bob ask me where I'm from. I tell him the state I am from which is not the state in which I currently reside. He ask me a few other questions like "where are you going?" and "are you a long way from home." I keep my answers as short and not info giving as I can. I pay for my stuff and make my escape only to realize hill billy bob and his padre, pot belly burt, are waiting for me outside. They see me climb in my jeep and proceed to ask questions about it. Thats cool. I don't have doors on it at the moment and I'm afraid ole junior and his papa are finna force a ride. I quickly answer without bein rude, tell them "have a good one" and make my leave. I was sure to head out the other way to they couldn't catch my tags or follow me.
Now, Cue me at home with my housemates riggin up some security stuff because people are creeps.
Take care of yourselves and watch out for one another. NO CREEPIN!
Love, A Schizophrenic
Wednesday, March 4, 2020
What happens after you tell...
About 10 years ago I had joined a youth group at a church. We had a youth pastor who said many crude things to many kids and about other kids in the group. I recall one trip in particular that made many uncomfortable by his presence. My cousin came to me upset because of something that had happened in their hotel room the previous night. He said that Kevin, the youth pastor, had been bullying and embarrassing him. He said that Kevin pantsed him in front of everyone in the room, pushed him on the bed, and forced a stuffed animal up his you know where. Later on the trip Kevin had touched my hip and my breast. He made comments about it to the older boys in the group later. Fast forward to this year. Kevin is no longer the youth pastor, but was running for a seat on the board of education back home. I emailed the superintendent explaining why this man should not be allowed to run and should not be anywhere near children. I never received an email, but was relieved when I saw that he had not been elected.
So now what? Well, this is not the first time that I have opened up to someone about some sort of sexual abuse or unwanted sexual act. Many people are afraid to tell because they do not know what happens afterwards. I feared getting in trouble and ruining someone's life. Kevin has 2 daughters. What happens to them? Could it ruin their lives?
1st off, lets talk about what can happen after you tell. In a way it will be relieving because you no longer have that secret and you can begin to heal. You can begin to learn that what happened was not your fault and the consequences the offender faces after you tell is also not your fault.You are not alone and you do not have to heal alone either. There are people that can help you.
2nd, what might happen. This is the scary part. There is a chance no one will believe you. It happened to me and I took long to begin healing because I did not want to offend others by calling out their dis belief. The person may get angry and target you. I have also had this happen because no one believed me and he was set left free. Others may come forth about what the person did to them. This has also happened to me. After I opened up about my brother's friend trying to rape me many of my friends and even strangers from my school spoke up and said that he had done the same to them. It may save someone. What if Kevin is doing the same thing to his daughters? Well, now someone knows to watch for it. What if he isn't? What if it ruins his life or theirs? These things are not your fault. The person does these things themselves when they commit the act(s).
3rd. What does NOT happen. You may not heal immediately. You will not get into trouble. It may not fix your life or cover up the scars.
If you have been abused in someway by someone please tell someone! The way we end the stigma about all the #metoo is by talking about it. Make it known.
Take care of yourselves and each other.
Love, A Schizophrenic
So now what? Well, this is not the first time that I have opened up to someone about some sort of sexual abuse or unwanted sexual act. Many people are afraid to tell because they do not know what happens afterwards. I feared getting in trouble and ruining someone's life. Kevin has 2 daughters. What happens to them? Could it ruin their lives?
1st off, lets talk about what can happen after you tell. In a way it will be relieving because you no longer have that secret and you can begin to heal. You can begin to learn that what happened was not your fault and the consequences the offender faces after you tell is also not your fault.You are not alone and you do not have to heal alone either. There are people that can help you.
2nd, what might happen. This is the scary part. There is a chance no one will believe you. It happened to me and I took long to begin healing because I did not want to offend others by calling out their dis belief. The person may get angry and target you. I have also had this happen because no one believed me and he was set left free. Others may come forth about what the person did to them. This has also happened to me. After I opened up about my brother's friend trying to rape me many of my friends and even strangers from my school spoke up and said that he had done the same to them. It may save someone. What if Kevin is doing the same thing to his daughters? Well, now someone knows to watch for it. What if he isn't? What if it ruins his life or theirs? These things are not your fault. The person does these things themselves when they commit the act(s).
3rd. What does NOT happen. You may not heal immediately. You will not get into trouble. It may not fix your life or cover up the scars.
If you have been abused in someway by someone please tell someone! The way we end the stigma about all the #metoo is by talking about it. Make it known.
Take care of yourselves and each other.
Love, A Schizophrenic
Wednesday, January 22, 2020
Another The Mighty Story
We've all been there. That moment when you realize your illness is inconvenient and difficult for others. For that moment, even in the slightest, you may feel as if you owe someone an apology. You may forget that you don't control your illness and may think it is your fault. Just for that moment.
I was 20 years old and had taken a break from school because of schizophrenia. I needed to move back home to my parent's house. I had been in and out of hospitals all year and tensions were high in our household. My step mother had been known to make comments here and there about my illness. "Its like walking on egg shells around you." She'd say without realizing I felt the same thing about her. Or "Why don't you sit still? People are starring." "Don't tell the church people. They won't understand." The sun began to set that evening and I could feel depression begin to eat me alive. "You're so dramatic." She said passing me by. I was sitting on our couch watching television as tears poured out of my face. Later, she came back out of her room, turned to me and said "Do you know what it does to your father? Hearing you out here boo hooing knowing he can't fix it!" I told her "I don't know what you want me to do about it. I'm sorry."
Ever since that moment, I felt bad for being unwell because I knew it made my father sad. I have battled inside with whether or not to share this story. I do not wish to make my step mother seem bad because she certainly is not. She was simply overwhelmed with an ill child and a heartbroken husband. Many of us may have said the same thing.
I've thought about this over the years. Many of you can probably think of several times when you were made to feel ( by yourself or by others) as if you owed someone and apology. You do not. You may not even owe anyone an explanation. Put the stick down you've been beating your self up with and use it to help yourself stand up straight. If you struggle with an illness/disorder IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Sure, cancelling plans or whatever may be an inconvenience to others, but they may not have a clue as to what you are dealing with. People will just have to deal with it.
Life is hard enough. If someone is struggling with something be kind enough to help them. We're all in this together.
Love, A Schizophrenic
I was 20 years old and had taken a break from school because of schizophrenia. I needed to move back home to my parent's house. I had been in and out of hospitals all year and tensions were high in our household. My step mother had been known to make comments here and there about my illness. "Its like walking on egg shells around you." She'd say without realizing I felt the same thing about her. Or "Why don't you sit still? People are starring." "Don't tell the church people. They won't understand." The sun began to set that evening and I could feel depression begin to eat me alive. "You're so dramatic." She said passing me by. I was sitting on our couch watching television as tears poured out of my face. Later, she came back out of her room, turned to me and said "Do you know what it does to your father? Hearing you out here boo hooing knowing he can't fix it!" I told her "I don't know what you want me to do about it. I'm sorry."
Ever since that moment, I felt bad for being unwell because I knew it made my father sad. I have battled inside with whether or not to share this story. I do not wish to make my step mother seem bad because she certainly is not. She was simply overwhelmed with an ill child and a heartbroken husband. Many of us may have said the same thing.
I've thought about this over the years. Many of you can probably think of several times when you were made to feel ( by yourself or by others) as if you owed someone and apology. You do not. You may not even owe anyone an explanation. Put the stick down you've been beating your self up with and use it to help yourself stand up straight. If you struggle with an illness/disorder IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Sure, cancelling plans or whatever may be an inconvenience to others, but they may not have a clue as to what you are dealing with. People will just have to deal with it.
Life is hard enough. If someone is struggling with something be kind enough to help them. We're all in this together.
Love, A Schizophrenic
Sunday, October 20, 2019
Mighty story
Welp, after a series of events I decided tosubmit another story to the mighty. I'm to lazy to retell it here so long story short: I'm schizophrenic and I had a bad week because of it. It upset people. The end.
Also, if someone gives you twa to "heal your blah blah blah" they lying and are ignorant. Punch em.
Love, A schizophrenic
Also, if someone gives you twa to "heal your blah blah blah" they lying and are ignorant. Punch em.
Love, A schizophrenic
Sunday, August 11, 2019
Re inventing the Wheel
My mind is beginning to circle back to the same problems. What about the future? my future? what are my plans? Everyone else is so far past me in life and here I sit.
Love, A Schizophrenic
Love, A Schizophrenic
Sunday, June 9, 2019
Fight: Irishmen vs American Women
So the past couple weeks have been interesting. We've had 2 guest at our house. 1 is a friend my housemate basically grew up with and the other is a friend from ireland her husband met on xbox. We've all been hanging out and going exploring, hiking, swimming, eating, and shopping. Fun right? Sure....
Most of it was fun and Damien is a really nice guy who apparently had a little crush on me. Yikes. Luckily, he noticed I am a "free spirit" as he put it. Dodged a bullet on that one. Yeet yeet. His problem is....MANSPLANING.... He mansplanned my jeep, my parking break, how to drive stick even though i drive a stick, mountain roads, water, hiking trails, bras, cheese, trucks, cars, turning lanes and lights, money, bumpers, tires, roads, fries, dos bros, dogs, walmart, stars, sunsets, gum on clothes, paint, medical things to my pre med friend, tea, sexism, fighting, parking, mountains, rivers, heat, and a billion other things. It was so annoying. He stressed us all out so bad at times because he just would not stop talking. He kept complaining and complaining and complaining. I think he has a case of culture shock. He finally leaves today and we are happy. We love the guy to death really, but he is a friend for small trips and light doses and not 2 weeks adventures. I was so afraid I was gonna say something to start a fight, but.....
Our other visiting friend jokingly said "fight me." I got excited because I LOVE FIGHTING! It is so fun and I was trained in a few forms martial arts. Through some peer pressure we all ended up in the backyard last night for a fight. I boxed our other visiting friend. She had some good punches, but I won. Damien fought my housemates husband....and won. I decided to take on the winner.....
After calling him sexist for being willing to hit a guy, but not a girl, he finally gave in. We had ourselves a good ole fashioned mixed gender boxing match. He did not hit hard at all despite all of his grunting and moaning. I tore him up. My housemate, her husband, and our friend all agreed Damien got his booty handed to him. Before he left for chocolate he said he is sore and bruised from our fight lol
Now he can go back to Ireland and tell them how kick ass women in the USA are.
Have fun
Love, A Schizophrenic
Most of it was fun and Damien is a really nice guy who apparently had a little crush on me. Yikes. Luckily, he noticed I am a "free spirit" as he put it. Dodged a bullet on that one. Yeet yeet. His problem is....MANSPLANING.... He mansplanned my jeep, my parking break, how to drive stick even though i drive a stick, mountain roads, water, hiking trails, bras, cheese, trucks, cars, turning lanes and lights, money, bumpers, tires, roads, fries, dos bros, dogs, walmart, stars, sunsets, gum on clothes, paint, medical things to my pre med friend, tea, sexism, fighting, parking, mountains, rivers, heat, and a billion other things. It was so annoying. He stressed us all out so bad at times because he just would not stop talking. He kept complaining and complaining and complaining. I think he has a case of culture shock. He finally leaves today and we are happy. We love the guy to death really, but he is a friend for small trips and light doses and not 2 weeks adventures. I was so afraid I was gonna say something to start a fight, but.....
Our other visiting friend jokingly said "fight me." I got excited because I LOVE FIGHTING! It is so fun and I was trained in a few forms martial arts. Through some peer pressure we all ended up in the backyard last night for a fight. I boxed our other visiting friend. She had some good punches, but I won. Damien fought my housemates husband....and won. I decided to take on the winner.....
After calling him sexist for being willing to hit a guy, but not a girl, he finally gave in. We had ourselves a good ole fashioned mixed gender boxing match. He did not hit hard at all despite all of his grunting and moaning. I tore him up. My housemate, her husband, and our friend all agreed Damien got his booty handed to him. Before he left for chocolate he said he is sore and bruised from our fight lol
Now he can go back to Ireland and tell them how kick ass women in the USA are.
Have fun
Love, A Schizophrenic
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