Self harm

This topic is tough to talk about because it is different for everyone. Everyone has different reasons and different means of self harm. Some people have a different purpose for it than others too. I am going to talk to the people who do not self harm. Here are some things you need to know.

So you all know, I self harm. Sometimes every day or multiple times a day. I do not recommend it and I acknowledge that it is unhealthy. Mine is inflicted for various reasons. Sometimes command hallucinations or other times an urge. Today my reason was pent up aggression and anger. I did not know what to do with all of that emotion inside. There were other things that went into it, but that was the biggest.

Some people self harm because they want to see their pain. They want to see their emotional pain. It makes it "more real."

Some do it because they honestly think they deserve it. They think they deserve to choke or be beaten or bleed. 

Some do it because hallucinations that are way more real than you'll ever know. 

Others do it to calm down.

Some will do it for attention or to see what it is like. 

The list could.go on for days.

Most people are not going to be honest or up front about their self harm. I have got to where I just tell people the truth when they ask about the cuts on my arms. They never really know how to respond. That and the fact that people dont want to be called crazy will keep people who self harm from telling the truth. 

What to do about it?

Do not treat the person like a child, unless they are and are your child. Do not belittle them or embarrass them. Talk to them. Get them to talk back. Listen, do not respond or interrupt. Let them keep talking. Get them help. Don't you dare not take it seriously. Get them help. Do not overreact. Stay calm, but help them.

Love, A Schizophrenic

Housemates

One of my favorite things to do after work it to come home, shower, not wear a shirt over my bra, and eat while watching netflix. My house mates and I have this rule that we always text the group when we're having people over ESPECIALLY OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER. Even if it is only for a few seconds. It is the respectful thing to do when you live with others. Common sense.
Well today my roommate "forgot to send the text." She does this almost every time her guy friend comes over. Anyway, I hear her coming up the porch steps and I hear his voice. Here I am shirtless with no warning. I go to the kitchen to grab my stuff and set out food to thaw because I have 0 idea how long they were gonna be here. Before I can run out and get upstairs, in walks her and her boy toy. I say quickly "Don't come in! I don't have on a shirt!" Too late. I scream as I make my way up the stairs "This is why we fucking text our roomates!" I put on a shirt and come back down. They're still here. I go to get my stuff and said "Jesus Fucking Christ. God damn it. I do not want to be near people that just saw me how I don't want people to see me."
They leave after a few minutes. I was pissed and embarrassed. She texted me apologizing and explaining that she "forgot." Then she says that I had no excuse to use that kind of language and that'd she has been meaning to talk to me about my language. We are both Christians and she is well aware that cursing is something I struggle with. I have even explained to her why and that it is something I am working on. I told her that I love her, but I am not okay with her trying to turn blame on me. Sure, if I do something that is bothering her she can tell me. However, this was poor timing and there is no way it wasn't on purpose. My language must have made her man friend blush.
She was like "you know me better than that. I would never try and blame you." Like week before last she totally tried blaming me for her car battery dying. She tries blaming her job on why she can't pay her portion of the bills. She owes me like 60 something dollars for utilities. I have to remind her and our other house mate to clean up after themselves. Like there is all kinds of stuff I could have brought up too, but I didn't because that WAS NOT THE POINT!
I love her to death, but I needed to vent.
People, respect your housemates.
Love,
A Schizophrenic